Corkage Waived…because: scallops

July 20, 2018

Dinner was fantastic.  I’m not going to say where, because I love the place and want to be allowed back there, but this thing happened.  I brought in this mofo:meursault-les-chevalieres-2009-coche-dury…and it was mind blowing.  Needed a bit of time in the decanter to open up, but was classic Coche Meursault with its many layers of incomprehensible ethereal complexity that present the Chardonnay grape like no other producer can — like it’s from another planet — and ’09 is an intense vintage too.  Plus it wasn’t corked or premox’d, so…bonus.

Only two of us were drinking, and we were feeling generous, so we sent a glass to the kitchen (we’re huge fans of the chef, so we probably would have shared a bit, regardless).  Shortly after ordering our mains, our waiter came back to revise our order with the apology that they had just run out of scallops.  Upon receiving our bill, we were informed that corkage had been waived on account of the scallop situation.  Nice of them.  I don’t know offhand what their corkage is, but I’m fairly certain the glass I sent to the kitchen was worth upwards of 10 plates of scallops…


Travesty at the French Laundry

December 30, 2014

The Grinch stole Christmas and also made off with a number of spendy bottles from the vatican of food churches, including:

  • Screaming Eagle 2002 $6500
  • Screaming Eagle 2010 $3500
  • Domaine de la Romanée-Conti 1988 $5750
  • Domaine de la Romanée-Conti 1998 $3950
  • Domaine de la Romanée-Conti 1999 $7950
  • Domaine de la Romanée-Conti 2007 $3250
  • Domaine de la Romanée-Conti 2008 $3500
  • Domaine de la Romanée-Conti 2009 $4500
  • Domaine de la Romanée-Conti 2010 $3950

…I know, right?  WTF is napa cab doing on this list?!!  Travesty.


What is this?…China?…in the 30s??!!!

December 8, 2014

So my friend asks me if I can recommend an earthy pinot for ~$20…(rimshot!)….$20/glass maybe…(rimshot!)…

…thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen, you’ve been a great crowd; if you want to see more of my act, I’ll be here every Wednesday night this week…but seriously folks…I too like a wine to convey a sense of place, and I prefer that place not to be the inside of a jam jar, but $20?

Here, drink this.  I think there was some dirt in it, but the flavor was mainly dominatedIMG_20131229_184557605 by THE BLOOD OF ANGELS…


dinner party leftovers

September 28, 2014




Cayman Krug

January 21, 2012

Slurping down Krug on 7-mile beach in the Cayman's.....I am the 1%.


Dead Wine

January 10, 2012


Really?  Well, we already know the bouquet would be a sickening melange of cannabis, patchouli, and body odor.  We should probably also assume that one needs to already be high as a kite to find it at all palatable.  Is it a coincidence that the aim in this experiment is a sort of synesthesia, which just happens to be a side effect of LSD?  Really?

Maybe this is an indication that the winemaker needs to get out of his garage more often (or perhaps not at all).


Triptych of “statutory grape”

December 7, 2011

Three classic white burgundies opened way too early (three years) by a wine asshole:

Unfortunately, due to Kermit’s three-strikes policy, this means I’m cut off now…



Hermitage for the road…

October 8, 2011
Hermitage for the road

Now if there were only cup holders that would accommodate stem-ware...


Marc DRC

September 18, 2011

Ever get sick of Domaine de la Romanee Conti?  Me too.  Well, I found a better way to drink it:  distilled.


2004 Bertheau Bonnes Mares

February 16, 2011

Un 2004 (as the cork reads), going down nicely in an appropriately spectacular setting in Big Sur.  What makes this a wineasshole post?…well, where were you?